Busy with my current WIP V.Chronicles, and the #atozchallenge (my theme is myths and legendary creatures!) I decided to take another break this week and try something new. Btw, did you see the news post that I finished Draft #3? 😀
Me and Natasha Roxby decided to change things up this #BlogBattle week and try our skills with a waka poem, which is the Japanese long poem: a pattern of 5-7-5-7-5…etc syllables every other line. I suggested our theme be “spring,” since it’s April. Even though it began snowing as I wrote it… So here we go!
“Overwhelmed”
Indiscriminate
Clouds loomed over the warm field,
Over her warm heart,
Casting shadows over its
Spring cherry blossoms,
Threatening to drown them and
Her under eager
Winter snow, eating away
Soft petals, her heart,
Eager to take away what
Brief happiness lit
Her ashen soul, ashen field.
Clouds churn, snowflakes fall
Silent white death in the trees.
Bruise, melt, wilt, crumple
Eradicating spring’s life,
Her sole light and joy.
Fight back, fight back, fight back, fight!
She stands, refuses
To give in and wither up,
Reaching for the last
Bud, her hands sheltering it:
The bit of hope she
Has left keeping it warm, safe.
The angry clouds pass
Devastation in their wake
Flowers gone, ruined,
Spring’s warmth and new life buried.
All but for one bud.
Her hands open, the bud breathes,
Stray light tickles its
Petals with remaining hope,
And the bud slowly
Tenderly unfurls itself
To her ashen world,
Bringing color, bringing life,
Thawing out frost hearts.
Once more spring will be reborn
The clouds in her life
Chased away with renewed hope.
© copyright 2015 E. E. Rawls and Rawls E. Fantasy, All Rights Reserved
Madnes Solver will be back. 😉 Are you caught up on all the chapters?
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This is my entry for this week’s #BlogBattle challenge by the wonderful author Rachael Ritchey, where the challenge is to write a short story based on that week’s chosen word. This week’s word was: “Indiscriminate.” Check out the link, read other great stories there, and VOTE for your favorite 3 to win.
Very clever!
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Thank you, BlondeLucy! I try to be clever. 🙂
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[…] enough on forms of Japanese poetry. To make a long story short, I mentioned the waka to Rawls E., we decided to both write a spring waka, seeing as it’s April and all. I hope you enjoy it! […]
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Absolutely lovely! Sorry it’s taken me so long to post, but my waka is up now! 😀
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Thanks! It was awkward trying to write a story 5-7-5-7-5, haha. I tried my best. 😛
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Haha, yeah, a little bit. Still, yours came out really well! 😄
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Thanks! I’m glad I pulled it off. 😀
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You sure did! 😄
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😀
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This is beautiful. 🙂 Hope in darkness. I love that sort of theme.
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Thank you, I’m so glad it turned out well! Waka is a difficult poem form. I’m glad you loved the theme. Hope in the darkness is one of my favorite themes to portray in writing. 🙂
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so it’s like really long haiku lol
counting syllables makes my head hurt I can barely manage a 5-7-5 and that’s it
oh lovely writing by the way *one man standing ovation*
~B
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Thank you for the standing ovation! I’m blushing now *^_^*
It was a bit of a brain exercise counting all those syllables, haha, so I’m glad it turned out okay. 😀
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♥♥
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This is lovely and elegant. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
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Thank you, Cathleen! 🙂
I’m longing for spring to arrive so the flowers can bloom.
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